Berklee, L.A., & 10,000 People

This entry has been brewing since May 1st. That weekend, I played piano at our church’s main Tysons campus, meaning that I cumulatively performed for approximately 10,000 people over the course of 4 services. I can’t really express how huge of an honor or responsibility it was to play with a full orchestra, choir, and rhythm section for such a large audience.

For years, I would secretly imagine how incredible it would be to play at Tysons, or rather, how incredible it would be to be good enough to play at Tysons. Even a year ago, if you had asked me to play at my church, I would have told you there was no way in the world I was qualified or capable of such an honor. But there I was on May 1st and 2nd, at the piano bench.

I remember countless times over the past five years, crying over the phone to my friends about how I was a terrible pianist, that I’d never rise above mediocrity, and that it would take a miracle for Berklee to accept me. Other days I would be crying about how much of a poser I was for talking about being a film score composer, despite rarely ever composing. I just couldn’t imagine ever being good enough at music and I questioned if God was ever going to bless me with my endeavors.

But that weekend, I received the most overwhelming confirmation of my life’s direction, That weekend, I was playing piano in my home mega church, I had been accepted to my dream music school, and I knew that I was headed for L.A. for an internship with film score composer Deane Ogden. The combination of all of those dreams coming true led to one of those incredibly rare occasions when God speaks with such clarity that it’s almost as if He was shouting.

“Now do you finally trust me? Now can you see the plans I had set for you all along?”

So often I felt like I was meandering, directionless, and so far from God or His will. I needed to write this event down because I couldn’t have been more certain that I was in God’s will that weekend. And that feeling is something I will never take for granted.

Speaking of L.A., I’m actually about to leave for the airport right now (I told you this entry has been brewing for a while…). See my companion flickr post to this entry here.